Hello Craig, we don’t know each other but George was a friend, and we often talked about death because my wife, also very fond of George, died from cancer a year or two before him. We used to bump into each at the London Oncology Centre! My point: there’s a big big difference between sudden unexpected death, which is rightly always shocking, and death where someone is terminally ill and sure to go, it’s just a question of when. My email is Christopher.wyld@ gmail.com.. ping me if you like and I’d happily send you a piece I wrote ( not for publication) after Kate died. All best, good piece!
I was lucky enough to be there at my father’s death 3 years ago this week. I say lucky because it felt like an incredibly important moment .. literally like a birth but in reverse. We were all at his bedside. My sister hated it and says it was terribly traumatic .. but maybe my Catholic faith helped me feel it as an incredibly moving moment . Do write next week’s piece ! We need to talk about , touch and feel normal about death and grief x
Beautifully written, captures the way people sweep the uncomfortable painfully to the side. We could do with a better grasp of our fragile in-permanence.
Hey Craig, I really enjoyed reading your blog and the shocking story of what happened on your hike in Scotland. I completely agree - we need to get better at talking about the inevitable. Most people just tell you to stop talking when you bring it up, but avoiding it doesn’t make it go away… confronting us brings to closer to the nature of reality and human consciousness.
I think sharing and talking about it eases things a bit.
I read that Buddhist monks meditate on death - literally the process of their body decaying and returning to nature. I think they believe making it more familiar prepares us and makes it less scary.
Yes they do … it’s the ultimate reminder of our own impermanence and practised that technique before with Buddhist teachers whilst on retreat.
There is also the 6 Element Practice, a traditional Buddhist reflection that explores how our body and mind are made up of six elements: earth, water, fire, air, space, and consciousness. The practice helps us see that none of these really belong to us; they’re just passing through… like we are.
It’s a deep reflection on impermanence, letting go, and death but in a peaceful and freeing kinda way, I think. If you are interested, here is a well known version of it by the president of the London Buddhist centre aka LbC (where I practise Buddhism)… although I think it’s considered a more advance meditation technique.
Death is part of life. The most we can hope for is that our passing over is a peaceful one, an ‘good’ death, unlike your poor walking companion whose end was so undignified.
I also think we Baboulis they to celebrate life as a gift. It’s amazing we get to experience it, even if it is boundaried. Do keep sharing and commenting.
I am sure that will be incredibly hard saying goodbye - and I wish you well with it.
I understand your feelings about the wake.
I think George and I were finding ways to discuss that acknowledging that we die and talking about what experiencing seeing loved ones go is like, can help us all.
Do stay in touch and keep letting me and others know your thoughts.
Thanks for a personal and heartfelt contribution to the conversation which is, thankfully, becoming more common. Yes - write more. In an 18 month period in 2022-23 I attended 24 funerals, more than I had attended in my entire life up to that point. One of these was the funeral for my wife who died suddenly and unexpectedly. I am fortunate to be part of a small faith community where talking about these things is not avoided.
I read this while watching Olivia Rodriguez play at Glastonbury! Make of that what you will. But a really compelling tale. Thanks for your openness and honesty. We need more of this please.
Hello Craig, we don’t know each other but George was a friend, and we often talked about death because my wife, also very fond of George, died from cancer a year or two before him. We used to bump into each at the London Oncology Centre! My point: there’s a big big difference between sudden unexpected death, which is rightly always shocking, and death where someone is terminally ill and sure to go, it’s just a question of when. My email is Christopher.wyld@ gmail.com.. ping me if you like and I’d happily send you a piece I wrote ( not for publication) after Kate died. All best, good piece!
Thanks Christopher - I will.
Thank you Craig. An excellent piece
That’s kind, Chris. Thank you for saying.
I was lucky enough to be there at my father’s death 3 years ago this week. I say lucky because it felt like an incredibly important moment .. literally like a birth but in reverse. We were all at his bedside. My sister hated it and says it was terribly traumatic .. but maybe my Catholic faith helped me feel it as an incredibly moving moment . Do write next week’s piece ! We need to talk about , touch and feel normal about death and grief x
Thank you Cristina.
You are one behind! I wrote about my father dying - and the piece dropped this morning.
I’d love to know your thoughts.
Beautifully written, captures the way people sweep the uncomfortable painfully to the side. We could do with a better grasp of our fragile in-permanence.
Thank you Beth - do keep commenting, it’s good to hear your thoughts.
The out of control, oddly timeless fall you still dream about felt like an important part of this piece. More please
Thank you. Honest and difficult. Worth reading.
Thank you Jane
Thank you, Craig. I agree, we need to accept death as part of life, part of reality, and be unafraid of speaking about it. Do write more.
Yes, a vitally important topic - keep going. Excellent post.
Hey Craig, I really enjoyed reading your blog and the shocking story of what happened on your hike in Scotland. I completely agree - we need to get better at talking about the inevitable. Most people just tell you to stop talking when you bring it up, but avoiding it doesn’t make it go away… confronting us brings to closer to the nature of reality and human consciousness.
Thanks Tom.
I think sharing and talking about it eases things a bit.
I read that Buddhist monks meditate on death - literally the process of their body decaying and returning to nature. I think they believe making it more familiar prepares us and makes it less scary.
Yes they do … it’s the ultimate reminder of our own impermanence and practised that technique before with Buddhist teachers whilst on retreat.
There is also the 6 Element Practice, a traditional Buddhist reflection that explores how our body and mind are made up of six elements: earth, water, fire, air, space, and consciousness. The practice helps us see that none of these really belong to us; they’re just passing through… like we are.
It’s a deep reflection on impermanence, letting go, and death but in a peaceful and freeing kinda way, I think. If you are interested, here is a well known version of it by the president of the London Buddhist centre aka LbC (where I practise Buddhism)… although I think it’s considered a more advance meditation technique.
See here:
https://www.freebuddhistaudio.com/audio/details?num=LOC310
Very moving story Craig. Definitely write it
X
Thank you Joanna
Yes please. Working on the acceptance is strange and difficult but does help with the dread a little
Death is part of life. The most we can hope for is that our passing over is a peaceful one, an ‘good’ death, unlike your poor walking companion whose end was so undignified.
Thanks Fiona.
I also think we Baboulis they to celebrate life as a gift. It’s amazing we get to experience it, even if it is boundaried. Do keep sharing and commenting.
Go for it Craig - I think it’s an important topic
Thanks for the encouragement, Andy. I will write again next week. Do keep sharing and commenting - it’s much appreciated.
Thank you Carolyn.
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
I am sure that will be incredibly hard saying goodbye - and I wish you well with it.
I understand your feelings about the wake.
I think George and I were finding ways to discuss that acknowledging that we die and talking about what experiencing seeing loved ones go is like, can help us all.
Do stay in touch and keep letting me and others know your thoughts.
Thinking of you.
Thanks for a personal and heartfelt contribution to the conversation which is, thankfully, becoming more common. Yes - write more. In an 18 month period in 2022-23 I attended 24 funerals, more than I had attended in my entire life up to that point. One of these was the funeral for my wife who died suddenly and unexpectedly. I am fortunate to be part of a small faith community where talking about these things is not avoided.
Thank you Brian.
That sounds very intense - and I’m so sorry to read about the sudden death of your wife.
I’m glad you have a place to talk about it.
I will come at this from a different angle next week - it would be great to hear your thoughts.
I read this while watching Olivia Rodriguez play at Glastonbury! Make of that what you will. But a really compelling tale. Thanks for your openness and honesty. We need more of this please.