This is really beautiful Craig. Painfully honest and evocative. It reminded me of a quote from Anne Morrow-Lindbergh's book Gifts from the Sea; 'the most exhausting thing in life is being insincere'. Keep writing and sharing!
Thank you for being so genuine to share your thoughts and feelings. One of my friends is going through a similar path. He is struggling and suffers from severe depression. I look forward to the following blogs as I hope to gain perspectives and use them to help him. Thanks again Craig.
I always enjoyed your podcast and have come here now to continue to follow. I identify with so much of what you write and am a fellow traveller on a similar journey. Hoping we can all help each other along the way.
Thank you so much for writing. One thing I know for sure: These experiences can only make a person feel even more empathy for another human being.
I think the anxiety which lots of us humans feel, and which social media and advances in technology exacerbate, has been further exacerbated in recent weeks, so any writing providing hope is so incredible valuable right now. We all need hope.
I wondered if you had read Eckhart Tolle’s ‘A New Earth’? I have found his perspectives and videos particularly helpful. His analysis of anxiety, the need for presence above all else, how all humans make all our problems even worse through rumination and how to try to get greater presence/ consciousness as he calls it, is surprisingly well thought through and makes a lot of sense. It has had quite a big impact on me this year. I’ve found a lot of stoic philosophy useful too.
I’d like to build a place and community where people can be open, humble and vulnerable - while also hearing about some truly wise people, who they may not have come across before. Please keep reading and commenting 😀
Help others and treat others how you would like to be treated , if you can find a job that lets you do that it doesn’t matter how much you get paid . It’s very rewarding
Hey Craig - I feel humbled in reading your thought processes - I loved, loved you sharing and deconstructing some of our wonderful poets, who often overwhelm with their beautiful language - I am 66 years old, still working full time, but in these turbulent times I am trying to stay connected for the sake of my 23 year old daughter and her contemporaries, trying to find moments of wisdom to help them navigate the craziness - your blog has given me much food for thought - thank you
Thank you Mary. We are all trying to work it out - which is why I called the blog Desperately Seeking Wisdom. Do stay in touch and keep letting me know your thoughts.
You can end your search for wisdom, you already briefly alluded to the answer at the end when you touched on spiritualism. Start attending church regularly and your life will change my friend. People will think you are mad, and you'll probably think you are too for a little while, but stick at it and you'll realise that the hole inside of people that you mentioned, as well as that searching feeling you know well is a product of the modern material world that has completely cut us off from God who (to put it simply) is love.
Great piece thanks for sharing. Brings back memories of my relationship with my father and how he and I battled through my teens and till my mid 30's. I would use the excuse of not being successful on the fact that I didn't have the relationship with my father that I wanted, and that was to be his friend. Most of the time when people aren't getting what they want from someone, they just blame the someone and say they aren't capable, but if look a little deeper and see what my father's life was like, I'm lucky he was around at all. While he was catch with his best friend, he was 12 yrs old, his father got in his car and drove off saying, you deal with her I'm done with her, speaking of my grandmother, and that's the last he saw of his father until he graduated from college. So my father was doing the best he could with what he knew of how to be a father. The other turning point was when a friend's father told me, "look that's great you want to be friends with your dad, but it's not his job to be your friend, it's his job to be your father." And he was being my father. And doing the best with the tools given to him. By being abandoned when he so young, he was all about family. Family above all else. Which when said and on the surface sounds wonderful, but it can be a burden that can drive stakes through a a family as well.
James - that is so insightful. Thank you for sharing.
I was really struck when someone told me that “we are all victims of victims.”
It doesn’t excuse people - but it does help explain them. And in the understanding that comes from that, we can be empathetic.
It is heartbreaking to hear what your father went through - the sense of abandonment must have scarred him very deeply. But equally, that may have caused him to swing too far the other way - impacting others, including you.
I do also like your point that we can spend a lot of time blaming others. The key word here is “blame” - is it fair to blame - rather than consider? Or are we looking for a path of least resistance? Allowing us to avoid going to the heart of what is really happening in our lives?
None of this is easy. But I can see that you have wrestled with this and are better for it. I hope this isn’t patronising - but that is a real achievement to take heart from.
I hope you will send me more thoughts as I publish more pieces. The next one is tomorrow.
This is really beautiful Craig. Painfully honest and evocative. It reminded me of a quote from Anne Morrow-Lindbergh's book Gifts from the Sea; 'the most exhausting thing in life is being insincere'. Keep writing and sharing!
That’s so kind, Pippa.
And a great quote.
I’ll keep writing and sharing!
Thank you, Mary.
I really appreciate such lovely feedback.
There’s another blog dropping Sunday.
Do let me know what you think. And of course share with others 😀
Thanks Clifford. I agree that we need to seriously value our time and keep learning.
Thank you for being so genuine to share your thoughts and feelings. One of my friends is going through a similar path. He is struggling and suffers from severe depression. I look forward to the following blogs as I hope to gain perspectives and use them to help him. Thanks again Craig.
Thanks Muki. I am sure you will be able to support your friend. Having someone you can share with is such a big thing.
I always enjoyed your podcast and have come here now to continue to follow. I identify with so much of what you write and am a fellow traveller on a similar journey. Hoping we can all help each other along the way.
Thank you so much for writing. One thing I know for sure: These experiences can only make a person feel even more empathy for another human being.
I think the anxiety which lots of us humans feel, and which social media and advances in technology exacerbate, has been further exacerbated in recent weeks, so any writing providing hope is so incredible valuable right now. We all need hope.
I wondered if you had read Eckhart Tolle’s ‘A New Earth’? I have found his perspectives and videos particularly helpful. His analysis of anxiety, the need for presence above all else, how all humans make all our problems even worse through rumination and how to try to get greater presence/ consciousness as he calls it, is surprisingly well thought through and makes a lot of sense. It has had quite a big impact on me this year. I’ve found a lot of stoic philosophy useful too.
"When we shift our perspective, it becomes obvious that life is a gift, no matter its trials." ITS TRUE I HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH IT. Thanks
Thank you Samantha
That’s very kind
I’m keen to build a community of like minded people - so it’s great to have your support
Do tell friends, like, share, restack and comment
All of that helps get it out there
And most of all - do stay in touch - it’s good to hear thoughts and experiences 😀🙏
Thank you Elizabeth.
That’s very kind.
I hope you will read more.
I’d like to build a place and community where people can be open, humble and vulnerable - while also hearing about some truly wise people, who they may not have come across before. Please keep reading and commenting 😀
Thank you, Joanna. I appreciate it.
Yes - I have read Ekhart Tolle and find him very wise.
I think a lot of modern teachers - like him - find new ways of expressing ancient insights, like being present.
He is definitely worth reading.
If you have time - do also check out Byron Katie and Michael Singer, who come at it from different angles.
Help others and treat others how you would like to be treated , if you can find a job that lets you do that it doesn’t matter how much you get paid . It’s very rewarding
The idea of treating others as you want to be treated is a big one. Lyse Doucet told me it was the one piece of wisdom she would like to pass on.
Hey Craig - I feel humbled in reading your thought processes - I loved, loved you sharing and deconstructing some of our wonderful poets, who often overwhelm with their beautiful language - I am 66 years old, still working full time, but in these turbulent times I am trying to stay connected for the sake of my 23 year old daughter and her contemporaries, trying to find moments of wisdom to help them navigate the craziness - your blog has given me much food for thought - thank you
Thank you Mary. We are all trying to work it out - which is why I called the blog Desperately Seeking Wisdom. Do stay in touch and keep letting me know your thoughts.
Time is the only non-renewable resource.
Knowledge is the only sustainable competitive advantage.
^*•*^
Craig, wow. Your rawness and honest reflection shows such courage and humility and you write so beautifully that the reader wants more.
You can end your search for wisdom, you already briefly alluded to the answer at the end when you touched on spiritualism. Start attending church regularly and your life will change my friend. People will think you are mad, and you'll probably think you are too for a little while, but stick at it and you'll realise that the hole inside of people that you mentioned, as well as that searching feeling you know well is a product of the modern material world that has completely cut us off from God who (to put it simply) is love.
Great piece thanks for sharing. Brings back memories of my relationship with my father and how he and I battled through my teens and till my mid 30's. I would use the excuse of not being successful on the fact that I didn't have the relationship with my father that I wanted, and that was to be his friend. Most of the time when people aren't getting what they want from someone, they just blame the someone and say they aren't capable, but if look a little deeper and see what my father's life was like, I'm lucky he was around at all. While he was catch with his best friend, he was 12 yrs old, his father got in his car and drove off saying, you deal with her I'm done with her, speaking of my grandmother, and that's the last he saw of his father until he graduated from college. So my father was doing the best he could with what he knew of how to be a father. The other turning point was when a friend's father told me, "look that's great you want to be friends with your dad, but it's not his job to be your friend, it's his job to be your father." And he was being my father. And doing the best with the tools given to him. By being abandoned when he so young, he was all about family. Family above all else. Which when said and on the surface sounds wonderful, but it can be a burden that can drive stakes through a a family as well.
James - that is so insightful. Thank you for sharing.
I was really struck when someone told me that “we are all victims of victims.”
It doesn’t excuse people - but it does help explain them. And in the understanding that comes from that, we can be empathetic.
It is heartbreaking to hear what your father went through - the sense of abandonment must have scarred him very deeply. But equally, that may have caused him to swing too far the other way - impacting others, including you.
I do also like your point that we can spend a lot of time blaming others. The key word here is “blame” - is it fair to blame - rather than consider? Or are we looking for a path of least resistance? Allowing us to avoid going to the heart of what is really happening in our lives?
None of this is easy. But I can see that you have wrestled with this and are better for it. I hope this isn’t patronising - but that is a real achievement to take heart from.
I hope you will send me more thoughts as I publish more pieces. The next one is tomorrow.
I look forward to it. You're an excellent writer and look forward to reading more of your work.